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Jokes and everything else that makes you laugh

Playing with words

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20 Jul 2016 @ 14:09:34 pm
Nico
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Wonderful how one can play with words.
Seen in various shop/truck/retail concerns:

A SIGN IN A SHOE REPAIR STORE:
"We will heel you
We will save your sole
We will even dye for you."

Sign over a Gynaecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."

On a Septic Tank Truck:
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

At an Optometrist's Office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for,
You've come to the right place."

On a Plumber's truck :
"We repair what your husban d fixed."

On another Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

At a T yre Shop:
"Invite us to your next blowout."

On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."

In a Non-smoking Area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and will take appropriate action. "

On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."

At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment."

Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."

In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"

At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment on time. However, if you don't, YOU will be de-lighted."

In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up."

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."

At a Gas Bottle Filling Station:
"Thank Heaven for little grills."

In a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

On a Plumber's truck :
"A flush is better than a full house."

And the best one for last
Sign on the back of another Septic Tank Truck:
"Caution - This Truck is full of Political Promises"
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20 Jul 2016 @ 14:55:23 pm
Chuck Norris
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Mooi man, laaik die laaste een die die een wat met hom saam gaan.

As jy wil he jou drome moet waar word, moet jy eers wakker word.

Die jonge Fransmannetjie. (Parys - Frankryk)
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20 Jul 2016 @ 15:04:59 pm
It'l dodat
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Hehehehe

Nice...

Slightly quicker downhill....
These days a teeny-tiny bit more slightly quicker....
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20 Jul 2016 @ 15:23:14 pm
Jan Meyer
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Baie goedlaughinglaughing 

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20 Jul 2016 @ 17:46:12 pm
*****
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Ja, dit is baie goed.  Gn wonder sommige mense sukkel om te spel nie, woorde wat dieselfde uitgespreek word en verskillend gespel word.

In Afrikaans word sulke woorde in 4 groepe opgedeel:

homonieme   selfde uitspraak, selfde spelling, verskillende betekenis  bv bank

homograwe   verskillende uitspraak, selfde spelling, verskillende betekenis bv onderwerp met klem op onder of dan klem op werp

homofone   selfde uitspraak, verskillende spelling, verskillende betekenis bv vee of fee

poliseme   selfde uitspraak, selfde spelling, verwante betekenis  bv parkeer voor die bank of FNB is 'n gewilde bank

Ek vergeet almal, kan net homonieme onthou.laughing

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20 Jul 2016 @ 17:52:37 pm
Relaxed Camper
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Dankie...baie nice en skerp👍
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20 Jul 2016 @ 18:39:21 pm
neef Herman
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Freda, jy was op n slim skool, dis verseker. Daar waar ek was, sou hulle nooit waag om die klomp bakore sulke woorde te leer nie.
Wat ek dalkies sou kon uitdink op ,wat is Homonieme, en verduidelik.

Homo nie meer, hou nou van die heuning potjie. Eerste gedagte
Menslike voorvader, die een na homo erectus. In geletterde geselskap gebruik.
Sy onderbroek vroulik, of hy het verkeerde laai gekrap vir onderklere. Dus dalkies homoniem, " maw verskuilde of hangkas model.




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20 Jul 2016 @ 19:52:50 pm
*****
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Nee, Herman, ek dink jy was in 'n slimmer skool as ek.  Jy het my nou heeltemal gegooi.  Die enigste deel in jou uitlegging wat ek verstaan is "erectus".  Het dit dalk iets met homo te doen?  undecided   Kan jy verduidelik waar kom die heuning potjie in?   Ek is nie seker nie maar ek vermoed ons oortree nou Willie se reëls van ordentlikheid op die forum.   Indien wel, sal hy ons seker vergewe, dit is winter, min van ons kamp, so nou praat ons oor woorde en hoe deurmekaar hulle jou kan maak, soos jy nou met my gemaak het.wink  Nico het dit begin, hy is die skuldige, Willie!!

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20 Jul 2016 @ 20:30:20 pm
Bostoe
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Baie goed he he

In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait.
Haak daai wa kamp bly koning
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20 Jul 2016 @ 21:08:35 pm
Tom Sainsbury
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Amazing what can be learned on this forum. Good giggle.
I know that my redeemer lives.
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20 Jul 2016 @ 21:19:03 pm
neef Herman
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Homonieme. Homo soos in moffie. En dan ,nie, soos nie. En ,me, se jy meer.
Net soos ons hierlangs sal praat, hy is houmouniemenie, hy laaik die heuningpot baie meer.
Die ander is ook buite die boks.
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