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In this section we advise you, and provide assistance to others on various industry topics.

CHILDREN... 2 VS 3

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24 Apr 2018 @ 21:37:00 pm
Brommer
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Me and wifey are now debating having a 3rd child.. With oldest now just 4 and little brother 18months we are thinking of adding another sibling as soon as possible so that all 3 are still relatively close together...

Now a few things come to mind, mostly financial issues...

1. CAMPING COSTS LATER WILL BE HIGH!

I am assuming my holidays will become extremely expensive when compared to 2 children....

2. ACTUAL LIVING COSTS WILL BE HIGH!

School fees (just the pre-school fees currently over R2000 per child pm)
Clothing costs (hand me downs doesnt work these days...)
Food costs (yes, my kids cost already a fortune)
Sports and other individual activities

3. PACKING SPACE - CAMPING AND GENERAL TRAVEL

Is there actually any "room" really for 3rd person in, especially when they reach high school ages..?

 

All of these does give me a bit of an uncomfortable feeling, but the joy my kids bring to my heart so far was overwhelming.. 

 

Now the question, who has the experience to assist with advice on this? Are we mad?

We are thinking if we dont do it now and realise later we should have done it and just run with it, that we might have missed the opportunity..

It is a difficult thing for me to decide whether or not.. Who will I be to say NO and deny a new human a chance at life? Or other way around decide to have this human brought into the world and then something happens and we cant cope? Not just financiall but physically 3 kids might be some work, emotionally and physically demanding...

Those who have 3 kids, how are you doing? How did you decide you are going for 3?


We are both very keen on the idea........... Deciding to have the 2nd was a no brainer, we just jumped in and went for it.. But this one takes the mind a bit...


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24 Apr 2018 @ 23:39:41 pm
Janack1
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Brommer

I have difficulty deciding if you are joking or serious in asking our advice. I have only two children but I would like to offer my advice from a perspective of observing my friends who have 3 children.

In a number of instances the middle child need more attention and love than what the parents normally give to this child after the new baby is born. The eldest will always be the eldest but here you have the baby not being the baby any more and the attention now being given to the new baby and the middle child now have to fend for it self in the love/attention game.

What expenses and all that are concern don't worry families always seem to overcome and manage. My advise is that if you and your wife are discussing it and if one did not say "no" immediately then you are ready for number 3. So go for it.

Remember the love you invest in your children will be returned to you in abundance. I have always had a good strong relation with my children and when my wife died suddenly they were my greatest supporters and comfort. Both my children are now in their late forties and we still have a strong bond between us.

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25 Apr 2018 @ 03:47:50 am
Relaxed Camper
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Ek kan nie eintlik raad gee nie...ek het slegs 1x kind (waarvoor ons God innig dankbaar voor is) weens gesondheids komplikasies wat destyds ingetree het. Ons sou self nog n 2de wou hê...want dit verg meer aandag aan 1x kind as 2kinders aangesien hy nie dinge kan doen saam met boetie of sussie nie.....so 3 sal nog makliker wees vir ouers...boeties en sussies hou mekaar besig. Soos jy noem is dit deesdae n groot finasiele impak. Ek is bevoorreg om uit n gesin van 5 te kom...daar kom dan tye wat jy nie n prys tag aan dit kan heg nie...ek praat veral van tye van beproewings wat op almal se paaie kom...die ondersteuning wat jy onder mekaar kan bied.


Dan kan jy kry dat 3 makliker faait as 2....1wil dit doen, die ander 1 dat, die een in middel kies kant en alleenstaander is ongelukkig

Sterkte...andersins bid vir Hom dat Hy jou leiding gee..
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25 Apr 2018 @ 04:37:44 am
Grumpy/Hannes
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Brommer

Ek het 3 kinders groot gemaak. Die jongste word die jaar 28. Ek was nooit in n finansiele posisie om vir my kinders te kon gee was ek wou nie. Daar was n tyd toe die firma waar ek gewerk het toe gemaak het en ek n paar jaar werkloos was. Cherrie op die koek toe word my kar ook gesteel.

2 Van die 3 is getroud en tussen hulle is daar 3 wonderlike kleinkinders. 3 Knaap beplan om volgende jaar te trou. My kinders is almal "close" aan mekaar. So, die dag as ek doodgaan sal daar gese word " hy het finansieel swaar getrek sy hele lewe lank.................maar hy het wonderlike kinders"

Die oudste kind word van baba tyd "opge-piep" Tv is sag aan, ligte is dof, Ma en Pa praat saggies met mekaar. As die baba ....Egghhhhh spring almal op. As die bottel op die grond val word hy dadelik op getel en die tiet gesteriliseer....ens.

2 Kind makliker. Jy doen nie meer dit wat jy met die eerste kind gedoen het nie.

3e kind is die maklikste.. Die ouer twee maak hom/haar groot. 

Finansies is belangrik.............Liefde belangriker.

Terloops!  Die 3 een is altyd die klein Blik@#$m in die huis. En hulle hou jou jonk!

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25 Apr 2018 @ 06:26:50 am
Leon
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Dis nou maar iets tussen jou en Ma.

Sterkte vir julle en die kids.

 

Sonder Jesus is ek niks! ! ! !
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25 Apr 2018 @ 06:45:24 am
Butts
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Drie kinders en die derde verloor op 12jr.  

Vandag moet jy bereid wees om jou kinders vir die wye wêreld groot te maak want in SA gaan daar nie noodwendig vir hulle werk wees nie.  My swaer se dogter is 'n jong CA wat nou in Houston (VSA) werk.  Haar plaaslike firma het haar gestuur en daar is gesê daar is nie vir haar werk in SA nie.  Sy voldoen nie aan die BBBEE of wat ookal nie. 

Daar is van ons forumlede wie se kinders klaar oorsee bly weens plaaslike omstandighede - niks politiek nie.   Daar is net nie werk vir hulle nie.   Kyk maar na jou plaaslike winkel om die hoek, jou bank, jou staatskantore, ens. 

Soos Leon tereg aandui - die besluit berus egter tussen Ma en Pa.

groete

 

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25 Apr 2018 @ 08:59:28 am
W J
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Die nuwe SA ek sal nie meer kinders he nie, werk skool na skool studies ,dit is net my siening,

How great is our GOD
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25 Apr 2018 @ 13:16:12 pm
Anonymous
Difficult question for anybody. I have three, 7 4 and almost 2. Third was not really planned as such. We we're about where you are now and then I got a surprise birthday present.
Camping I think is the least of your worries, everybody just has slightly less space but you can just sort that out. And most campsites include 6 persons in the rate in any case. But you will want to invest as much as you can into your caravan because you will likely never stay in a chalet again. They are all priced for 4 and if you have 5 you need to pay for a 6 sleeper.
You will likely need a car with 7 seats and will probably have to think of a minibus. Strange how in the 80s we could sit 4 kids on the backseat of a Peugeot 504 but now you can't get 3 with their seats etc in the back of a suv.

I don't think you would be asking these questions if in you're heart you haven't already made a decision.
It is definately hard financially, emotionally and physically, but you also get better at parenting and avoiding mistakes. I haven't regretted having a 3rd for a second.
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25 Apr 2018 @ 13:38:10 pm
Proffie
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Brommer
Begin by die begin. Die Here het die mens gemaak en gesê vul die aarde.
Hoe vol mens moet vul is 'n antwoord wat jy net by die Here sal kry.
Begin daar. Antwoord sal Hy antwoord want jy gaan mos opreg vra.

Ons had net een kind weens mediese omstandighede. Sou graag meer wou hê.
As ek terugkyk en mens oorweeg kostes as deel van jou besluit, dan moet jy jou besluit baseer op jou vermoeë om jou kinders tersiêre onderrig te laat kry. Deel van 'n ouer se verantwoordelikheid is om sy kind toe te rus om sy eie lewe te maak. Emosioneel, geestelik en akademies toegerus.
Om 2 of 3 gelyk op universiteit of college te hê is nie almal beskore nie, veral nou dat beurse en studielenings baie selektief toegeken word.

Sterkte en ons vertrou saam met julle op duidelike leiding van die Here af.
Jesus saves all who do the will of the Father Matt 7:21-23
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25 Apr 2018 @ 14:05:47 pm
neef Herman
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Self 2 grootgemaak, Kampkostes is nie n druppel in die emmer nie, skoolgaan en aktiwiteite ook min, maar laat hulle gelyk op universiteit kom, in 2 verskillende stede, dan moet sakke goed vol wees. Daai eerste paar jaar na graad vang, is pay maar swak, jy moet steeds help met woonstel, kar, versekering etc. Dan onderhou jy 3 huishoudings, nie n grap nie.
Dankbaar dat ons die besluit gemaak het. Maar ek glo jy het lankal die uitgewerk vir jou self.
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25 Apr 2018 @ 16:54:43 pm
Neill and MArg
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It is simple. All children deserve love,  good nutition, a proper roof over their head and to be well educated. If you can give them all of that and you desire another child, go for it.  I have four children plus the little one we adopted. ( He was a disabled child who passed away at 13yrs old last year) we managed some how to give all of them, the above and more. 

Regards MArg & Neill

Neill & MArg
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25 Apr 2018 @ 20:13:13 pm
Neill and MArg
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I failed to add Neill had two children as well from a previous marraige, so that made 7 in total. They are all well adapted with children of their own. We are proud grandparents.  

Regards MArg

Neill & MArg
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25 Apr 2018 @ 21:23:27 pm
Andries
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Ek het drie. 9, 7 en 4.

Al wat ek kan sê; n derde een is nie net een meer nie.
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25 Apr 2018 @ 21:57:17 pm
HM
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Go for it Brommer! Ons het 3 kinders. Die jongste is nou 42 en nog Ma se baby. Was nie altyd maanskyn en rose nie maar ons het deurgedruk.

The Happy Campers.
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26 Apr 2018 @ 20:03:30 pm
Brommer
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Ja dis nou nogal die grootste bespreking in ons huis ooit...


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04 May 2018 @ 09:04:50 am
DR DRAKE GP not a Doctor nor a GP
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Only you can decide.
By asking others is like trying to blame them when things don't work out as you wish.
DR DRAKE GP

not a Doctor nor a GP
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04 May 2018 @ 09:58:48 am
Brommer
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Only you can decide.
By asking others is like trying to blame them when things don't work out as you wish.
I am actually asking in general who had 3 kids and what the experiences are, as my wife reads on her forums and we would like to hear from others who had 3 or more children... Especially when camping I can see a few issues as mentioned, and the main focus was actually on the camping and travel part of our lives.. The other issues of having another year without much sleep, or going out, or visiting friends etc is all another gameball and discussion.. Here I actually wanted to get some info from those who have 3 kids, how they managed etc.. I am just getting more thought maybe on what we can come across and might not have thought of. 

Having another little boy or girl would give me great joy, but I am also not a fool who jumps in without thinking things through and although we might decide to do it, being better prepared might help a bit along the way.....

 


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04 May 2018 @ 11:31:53 am
DR DRAKE GP not a Doctor nor a GP
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Then you know your answer .... you have been through it possibly with the first, but definately the second.
I think we all appreciate there are difficulties another mouth brings but only "you two" can decide if you want to pre-empt the joys of another family member.
I can give my experience as we have 3, but won't.......
Figure it out for yourself ... there are also possibly GRAND children that follow ......

We have

:-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-) :-)
DR DRAKE GP

not a Doctor nor a GP
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