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Jokes and everything else that makes you laugh

And then the fight started........

replies: 24
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14 Aug 2015 @ 12:52:27 pm
Hagar
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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. She
asked, 'What's on the TV?'
I said, 'Dust.'
And then the fight started...
**********************************************
My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were
in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
"No," she answered.
I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."
And then the fight started....
******************************************
Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed
the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to
the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The
wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the
radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.
I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into
bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation,
and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."
My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband
is out fishing in that?"
And that's how the fight started...
******************************************
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah,
well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!
He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT HAPPY
!!!"
So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"
And then the fight started.....
*****************************************
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.
She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3
seconds.'
I bought her a scale.
And then the fight started...
******************************************
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace
expensive....
so, I took her to a gas station.
And then the fight started...
******************************************
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social
Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's license
to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my
wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have
to go home and come back later.
The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my
curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application
When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the
Social Security office.
She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten
disability, too.'
And then the fight started...
******************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a
nearby table.
My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'
'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to
drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she
hasn't been sober since.'
'My gosh!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on
celebrating that long?'
And then the fight started...
******************************************
I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my
order first.
"I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
Nah, she can order for herself."
And then the fight started...
******************************************
A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel
horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
I really need you to pay me a compliment.'
The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect.'
And then the fight started.....
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14 Aug 2015 @ 14:12:10 pm
chameleon
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Lol sal maar nutraal bly wil die naweek geniet and then the fight started .....

Camping is a collection of memories .... make each one count
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14 Aug 2015 @ 14:26:26 pm
Grumpy/Hannes
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My wife asked me "does this denim make me look fat?"

I replied " no its all the chocolates that make you look fat!"

At last !!!!
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14 Aug 2015 @ 18:03:11 pm
Relaxed Camper
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Lol😁
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14 Aug 2015 @ 19:22:22 pm
Somer Kamper
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This Sandton blonde told her hubby about the new plasic surgeon in town. She the looked at her breasts and asked: "Don't you think they are too small?"

"You should bundle up some toilet paper and wipe up and down between your breasts", he replied.

"Are you serious, will it really work?", she asked with a puzzled expression.

"Well, it certainly worked on your backside!", was the reply.

And then the fight started...............

 

 

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14 Aug 2015 @ 19:33:37 pm
Relaxed Camper
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Eish....dit sal groot fight begin
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14 Aug 2015 @ 19:46:55 pm
*****
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Ek moes baie hard dink om een te onthou wat julle mans bietjie op jul plek sit.undecided 

Two lady friends meet in the street.  "How is married life?" the one asks the other.   "Well, the last couple of weeks, my husband has been helping around the house like never before! Watching the kids, cooking, doing shopping, cleaning, doing laundry!"  "How did you convince him to do that?" her friends asks.  "No, he read this article which said if a woman is less tired, she is much more active with sex".

 "Did it help?"

"I don't know yet.... he falls asleep as soon as his head hits the pillow!"

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14 Aug 2015 @ 19:49:02 pm
*****
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And I forgot to add:

And then the fightS  started!!!!!!!

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14 Aug 2015 @ 20:55:36 pm
Brommer
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Haha!


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15 Aug 2015 @ 08:06:44 am
camperfan
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LMAOqq

Africa is not for sissies. Die bosveld is nie speletjies nie.
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16 Aug 2015 @ 21:11:17 pm
Chuck Norris
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Hehehehe mooi julle.
As jy wil he jou drome moet waar word, moet jy eers wakker word.

Die jonge Fransmannetjie. (Parys - Frankryk)
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25 Sep 2016 @ 19:50:45 pm
Anonymous

My vrou kla nou lankal die grassnyer is stukken, nou ja, ek is 'n besige mens; rugby, krieket op tv, visvang voorbereiding wat gedoen moet word.

Die karavaan moet gediens word, en so kan ek aan gaan.

Lang storie kort, Saterdag sien ek sy sny die gras met 'n kombuis skêr om my'n punt te bewys.

Staan ek haar so en aangaap, na so half uur besluit ek dis lelik om so na jou vrou te staan en kyk, toe gaan haal ek vir haar 'n tande borsel en sê sy moet sommer die oprit vee as sy klaar is.

Dr sê  ek sal weer kan loop, maar dat dit so mank-mank sal wees.

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26 Sep 2016 @ 06:23:03 am
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Nou het ek lekker gelag, so vroeg op 'n Maandagoggend.  

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26 Sep 2016 @ 10:18:32 am
OOM JEEP
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Baaaaaie mooi. Hehehehehe
I love camping all year round
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22 Nov 2016 @ 14:38:58 pm
Anonymous

My vrou wil vreeslik graag die broek in ons huis dra, toe sê ek vir haar, ek het nie 'n groot genoeg belt nie, toe bars ek.laughing

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22 Nov 2016 @ 15:04:58 pm
Jan Meyer
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My vrou wil vreeslik graag die broek in ons huis dra, toe sê ek vir haar, ek het nie 'n groot genoeg belt nie, toe bars ek.laughing

Gaan hom leen - vir volgende keer as ek alleen gelos wil word en nie lus is vir praat nie.laughing

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12 Jan 2017 @ 20:17:33 pm
Relaxed Camper
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13 Jan 2017 @ 07:34:07 am
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13 Jan 2017 @ 12:11:01 pm
Jan Meyer
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Die Ma kom by haar pasgetroude dogter se huis aan en sien sy loop kaal. Sy vra " wat gaan hier aan?"
Dogter: Ma dit is die rok van liefde.
Die Ma gaan huis toe en besluit om ook in die huis kaal te loop. Toe haar man by die huis kom en sy vrou sien vra hy: "en dit?
Sy antwoord: Dis die rok van liefde
Man: Jy kon dit darem gestryk het.
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13 Jan 2017 @ 16:39:55 pm
OOM JEEP
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And then the fight starts.
I love camping all year round
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14 Jan 2017 @ 19:51:33 pm
Chuck Norris
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Gooi die grappies.

My Ex vrou s ek mis haar. Nee s ek, dit was net n waarskuwings skoot.

Sy stuur my n sms en s ek kan maar haar nommer delete.
Ek vra, Wie is dit?

Hehehe
As jy wil he jou drome moet waar word, moet jy eers wakker word.

Die jonge Fransmannetjie. (Parys - Frankryk)
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14 Jan 2017 @ 19:58:01 pm
Anonymous

My eks het gesê ek moet tussen haar en my karavaan kies, ek kan nie nou haar naam onthou nie.

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14 Jan 2017 @ 21:27:54 pm
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Dit is hul 25ste huweliksherdenking en die vrou gooi skimpe.  "Ek soek iets wat nuut is en blink en lekker ruik en van 0 - 150 kan beweeg in 'n paar sekondes."  

Toe koop hy vir haar 'n skaal.

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21 Jan 2017 @ 07:22:37 am
Anonymous

Man aan sy vriend: Ek dink my vrou is kwaad vir my.

Vriend: Nou hoe dan so?

Man: Nee, ek sit heel rustig onder 'n koelte boom, en vra my vrou om vir my 'n koue bier te bring.

Sy het my totaal geignoreer, en aanhou gras sny.

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